The Rising Popularity of BDSM

kinky lady

Many people in the world of sex that are not related to BDSM shrug at the thought of a BDSM contract, saying that since it does not hold up in court or is not truly binding, it’s simply “not a big deal”. However, it is such a big deal for the BDSM lifestyle, where the exchange between a Dom and a sub involves so much permission. At the most intense moments of play, the sub could literally be asking permission for every action IE “May I eat more, Sir, may I drink more, Sir”, etc. It is so important when dealing with BDSM to understand that in the mind of a submissive, having a contract is going to document EXACTLY when they do things and how they do them. There are areas of BDSM which are so rigid that the sub may even be literally outside the door sometimes asking permission before even let in. Within the Dom/sub relationship, there is much more structure involved during the course of a day than others.

For example, there was a medical professional on the web writing blogs about bondage this year that talked a great deal on this. In their particular contract, it was stated that on certain days of the week, he would go without wearing underwear, and then the girl would wear a butt plug for an hour or so and vice versa. They worked together, but not in the same department. They would only pass each other in the hall occasionally. But the element of documentation in the contract was an added thrill for them. They simply HAD to follow the guidelines in the contract for days without underwear or hours with the butt plug. Another command that can be stated in a contract is the sleeping of the sub in acollar, one thing that a writer in San Francisco particularly looked forward to, feeling completely “owned”.

hot girl

One interesting area of the contract that some leave out is actually called “slave veto”. At some point of the game if a command is illegal, incredibly damaging physically or mentally to the sub, or otherwise harmful. There is an option in some written BDSM contracts to exclude the sub from the very intense acts like this. Another element in which a “deeper”, more detailed contract is written these days is regarding permanent bodily harm. This section that is becoming more popular states that when there
some form of permanent bodily harm, even if it is something like a tattoo that the sub didn’t want, the contract is terminated. Sometimes sexually transmitted diseases are written into this section, sometimes they are not. The master, or dom, in these contracts really has a lot of freedom, even to wear clothing which is whatever they prefer. This is part of the allure of bondage, it takes a special kind of person to truly submit to all these elements, but once they do they claim it is incredibly fulfilling.

Even in this much more liberal age of sexuality, a lot of contracts have some pretty serious secrecy clauses in them. For example, many BDSM contracts state that if anyone else finds out about the contract, it is terminated. Of course in some scenarios, others that are into the BDSM lifestyle as well are trusted with the knowledge that the contract exists. Family members, even folks from churches or clubs the couple is involved in are the ones who they really may not want to know about this. A lot of people are still very judgmental about sex and preferences, and the BDSM lifestyle takes a brunt of the bad rap. There are just a lot of people out there who still think that BDSM is among the unhealthiest of all behaviors. For some reason as we all know, it has fallen under the “freak” factor, even though the regular drama of television and theatre contains the same elements.

It takes a very special type of person to gladly dominate another human being, sexually, physically and emotionally. It takes a special kind of person to ‘let’ those things happen, and to give over completely to the person in control, offering up mind, body, and soul to them to do what they will. Acting as a Dominant is never in the purview of a bully, nor is the submissive a shrinking violet, afraid of his or her own shadow, in this guide we explore ways to enjoy and get more pleasure.

One thing to understand is that when you take on the role of a Dom/me and your submissive wants you to do things to him or her that you might not otherwise do, it’s all an act. You are playing a role. Pain and pleasure go hand in hand here, but always on terms that you both set. Spanking his or her backside, leaving bite marks, using clothes pins, playing with whips, tying up your partner (or being tied up yourself, if you switch), all of these things are part of the role. Causing pain, in order to bring pleasure, is a tricky line, though.

Start out slowly, and pay close attention to every cue you can – auditory, visual, emotional, it is all important. Afterward, when you have both found release, talk with your partner about what went on. An open dialogue is the best way to figure out A – what is wanted on both sides for future fun, and B – what is best avoided because it didn’t work out. Aspects of BDSM like pain play (spanking, whipping, etc.), domination (bossing your partner around), and humiliation/degradation play (name calling, emotional abuse) are all part of the whole package. Even a perfectly sane, rational, and kind-hearted person can enjoy these things. The thing you have to remember is that it is an act. Never once is the responsible Dom/me maliciously causing harm to his or her submissive and neither should you.

Examples of what you can do to get the juices flowing, to so speak are as numerous as your imagination is broad. Perhaps you want to pretend you are the star athlete, and s/he is the captain of the cheer leading squad. Or you are the randy nerd who seduces the aforementioned cheerleader. Additionally, you can give him or her instructions to heighten the experience.

An exciting sex life can be spiced up immeasurably with the inclusion of BDSM. You don’t have to go all out, living it 24/7. That’s a choice for the truly committed. If you are interested only in the kink and fetish aspect of it, there is nothing wrong with that. Go at your pace, and do things your way, so long as you and your partner maintain an open, honest and loving relationship throughout. Once things go sour, it ceases to be enjoyable, and trust can erode if either party abuses their position or neglects the wishes of the other. In short, BDSM simply isn’t for everyone, but for those who enjoy it, it can be a life-altering experience.

naughty bdsm girl

Why BDSM got so popular these days?

Recently BDSM got very popular, some think that this is because of the release of the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  There is some truth to this statement. But in fact the book “Fifty Shades of Grey” was the original source of popularity before the movie. The book became best seller wordwide. A lot women read the book before anyone had thought that there will be a movie. Now with the sequel “Fifty Shade Darker” we are expecting BDSM to become even more popular. We hope that next movie will live to the expectations of the audience and even surpass it.

sexy woman

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *