BDSM Dynamics and Choices

two blonde beauties

We’ve all heard the old myths involved in BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sado masochism); individuals assuming mixing pleasure with pain means the person practising it has some deep rooted emotional problems. Sex is sex, no matter how we look at it. The funny thing is BDSM or Domination may have absolutely nothing to do with the act of sex. This is where many misconceptions come from in the ‘outside’ world. By that, we mean ‘outside’ the usual missionary style pleasurable experiences many have.

Bondage can be a lot of fun, very intense and an emotional experience for both involved. Experimenting is actually a part of growing. Married couples or anyone in a loving long relationship will find new and interesting ways to explore their sexuality. This is common, as most of you will agree. Bondage is classified in many circles as a fetish; but as most will conclude, this may be where the problems start to arise and stereotypes get attached.

There are several fetishes around, which admittedly are very odd or strange even border line disturbing. But, other fetishes have certainly hit mainstream. We may joke about it, but many become curious and want to take their first steps into a different realm of sexual pleasure. For example, in the company of a dominatrix many of us assume this is a taboo type pleasure only reserved for men. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Many women, as well as couples, find it exciting to be dominated by a mistress.

bdsm scene

The dynamics involved in bondage or S&M go deeper into emotions then many believe. Bondage is a form of trust; between couples, love, trust and devotion play a huge role when participating in bondage activities. Exploration is important; therefore a couple can grow while ‘trying out new things’. Submissives’, as they are called, do not ‘submit’ to a master simply because they lack esteem or have been abused in the past – this to, couldn’t be farther from the truth. They do so because in most cases, they are in total control of their daily lives outside the bedroom.

It is actually quite interesting when you dive into the psychology behind dominating, submitting and other forms of fetishes. Of course like mentioned in the beginning of this article, some fetishes are considered quite disturbing, and therefore is exactly the point of why Bondage should be completely separate from other forms of fetishes. Bondage has so many different dynamics involved, but most reflect personal decisions. Questions are asked: how far do I really want to take this? Can I honestly handle this form of sexual release? Is this what I really want?

Those are all normal questions one asks when they become curious about bondage or other forms of femdom. But, they are also questions that can be answered by doing simple research, talking to their partners or even searching out online others who are in the same position – simply curious.

Very often in our life we are forced to portray the roles society lies for us, but the BDSM lifestyle changes that and gives us a way to escape. For example men who are generally pressured to take charge, can give up control. Although this may be hard for them to do as a result of gender roles, the BDSM lifestyle encourages and and reward the behavior. The rewarding is also twofold for a Domme. The control elements at hand of the Domme may not be experienced outside of the BDSM setting. Also when the Sub has a breakthrough it is rewarding for the Domme, and satisfaction can be taken in knowing they were had a presence in the mental growth of another individual.

A Nice Way to Learn New Female Dominance Tricks

beautiful woman

For the uninitiated, BDSM (which stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism) may seem a quirky, perverted and wrong-headed view of life and of love. In point of fact, many may erroneously believe that it is a lifestyle choice for people of ill-repute or those who enjoy abusing others (or who enjoy being abused). This couldn’t be further from the truth, and is an unfortunate point of view fostered by fear and ignorance.

Paring it down, BDSM comes in two forms – the variety for lifestyle appreciators, and those who prefer the kink or fetish aspect of it. What does this mean? In lifestyle BDSM, two people agree to consensually bring the Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamic into their relationship on a permanent basis. Sexual pleasure does enter into it on occasion, but it is not the main focus of BDSM lived as a lifestyle. Conversely, kink or fetish BDSM only brings it out at certain times and specifically for sexual gratification to both parties.

Neither is more important or more highly valued than the other. Both forms have pros and cons to consider, and simply put, one may not be for you. Despite what some may think, choice is a huge part of this. There is no abuse, no subjugation, nothing that occurs without the willingly given permission of both parties. In point of fact, there are more than a few people who ‘evolve’ in their preferences, going from utilizing BDSM in the bedroom, to living it 24/7.

Practitioners of BDSM are no more amoral or bad than any other person, and the notion that people who prefer it were somehow mistreated or abused as children is groundless. It ‘is’ possible, just as it is possible for a blind man to be a doctor, or a deaf man to play music or for men to sew a dress or women to shoot a gun, but emotional health and happiness are two of the most important things in a thriving BDSM relationship. While it is true that what the Dom/me says goes, and it is the submissive’s place to please the Dom/me in all things, choice and trust are of the highest importance

The best advantage of availing the femdom options is that it will help your partner learn all the tricks and echniques, which are very necessary, for efficient woman dominated sex. In the femdom videos and movies, not only they can learn the way of torturing you while making the whole process of pain, quite pleasurable to you. Watching these femdom options together can also make you aware about the way, in which you have to respond to your partner.

There are a few ways you can introduce femdom to your male partner, and the ost common of them is simply talking about it. Perhaps over a nice candle-lit dinner; a romantic setting already puts forth the desire of more to come. When your partner comes home to find you have prepared a nice romantic evening, a conversation revolving around desires will already come into play.

Here you can watch some BDSM prank

BDSM – Goals and Motivation For Training A Slave

bdsm woman

When looking to get involved in the BDSM lifestyle you must understand at least basic goals and motivation. Just as with any position you might be hiring for, you need to learn how to create goals in order to mold them into your ideal slave and partner. When training a slave the question of how to motivate a slave is one that many dominants struggle with, but there are a number of basic things you can do to get the process started.

Many dominants want to believe that their power over a slave is all encompassing and that they merely have to say something in order to make it happen. If only this were the case. While there are some willing slaves that are able to follow orders and are happy to follow any orders you give them, most slave and master relationships do start off with a lot of miscommunication and frustration – especially when the ideas of goals and motivations aren’t addressed from the start of training a slave.

Even a dominant partner needs to learn what will work best for their slave training. Because all slaves will have their own set of needs and personalities, you need to be ready to formulate a plan of training that incorporates the goals that you want your slave to achieve in order to satisfy your needs. And you also need to figure out what kinds of motivation will allow your slave to want to reach these goals in an efficient manner.

The goals that you set are as individual when training a slave are between you and your submissive. What you might consider to be an important goal may not be something that is important to another Dom/me – but that’s not something you need to worry about. Your goals are going to begin with determining what you need from your slave on a regular basis. Is your slave going to be someone that is simply a service slave or perhaps a sexual slave? By defining their role in your life, you will be able to create clear goals they need to achieve in order to satisfy you.

sexy woman

For example when training a slave you might want to create a list of the things you expect your slave to do for you. They might be able to read this list ahead of time in order to know what will be expected of them in your relationship and also to give their opinion about anything that is not reasonable to them or unrealistic for them at this time. This initial agreement stage will happen before you open up the dungeon, so to speak.

Once these goals are established, you will then need to determine what will make a slave listen to your instructions – it can vary greatly from one slave to another. For example when training a slave some submissives respond to punishments, while others look forward to punishments and that doesn’t motivate them to complete the tasks as directed. If disobeying gets them what they want, then they will simply continue to do so.

Top BDSM movies

I found a video in youtube that presents the top 10 BDSM movies.  You will find movies that you never herd of and are in the top 10.  Enjoy the video. You might find some ideas for your bedroom.

I think this video left one of the greatest BDSM movies ever – Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie had unparalleled success which led to sequal entitled Fifty Shades Darker. Movie is due to be released in 2017 and it is an eagerly awaited. The producers promise to surpass you wildest expectations. While there is no news about the movie cast there are some rumours. We will wait and see if this movie will live to the expectation of the  audience.

BDSM – A New Sexual Orientation?

sexy young woman

The term ‘sexual orientation’ is mostly used about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual (LGBT). This powerful concept – ‘sexual orientation’ – pioneered courageously by members of the LGBT community, has empowered people, within the last 50 years or so, to think of themselves as not bad, or sick, but just different.

Readers may remember that it is not all that long since homosexuality was considered a form of sickness. Until 1973 Homosexuality was listed in the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a psychopathology: a form of mental illness. The underlying assumption here was that gay people had something wrong with them. While there are of course still individuals who think this, it is no longer generally seen in this way, at least in the USA and UK.

sexy brunette

Most people have heard of S&M, or SM (in case you’re one of the few who hasn’t, it stands for Sadism and Masochism). Fewer have heard of D/s (domination and submission), but the most comprehensive acronym which is in general use by those who take part in these activities is BDSM (the B is for bondage). If you Google BDSM you will find a lot of porn websites, some community sites run by members of the BDSM community, sites of suppliers of BDSM gear (fetish clothing, specialist fetters and restraints, whips and so on).

However for those looking for serious research into
the prevalence and experience of people who indulge in BDSM with consenting adults, there is not very much around. And yet these practices seem quietly to be sneaking their way into our consciousness, with a growing stream of articles and documentaries which, while they are not serious academic work, are also not purely porn. The internet, TV and mainstream magazines are providing media for people who are perfectly nice, and ‘ordinary’ (whatever that means) to reveal that they get off on BDSM activities. In these articles and TV shows, participants generally don’t seem to feel there’s anything wrong with them, or that they have anything to apologise for about their sexual practices. Having said that, most BDSM-ers feel uncertain about how they might be judged for their activities by, say, employers, friends, health professionals and family. In effect, then, it seems many BDSM-ers think of themselves as not sick, but as having a different sexual orientation.

Here is a short video where you can introduce yourself to BDSM.

BDSM Information – Getting Started and Finding Partners

beautiful girl on a swing

Looking for BDSM information on the web is not always an easy task. One problem with the process is that most BDSM information sites are more akin to selling a product or adult DVD than promoting adult dating. As a result, it can be frustrating for those looking for interests or partners in BDSM.

Thankfully, there are some informational resources out there that can provide legal information on the subject that many can find helpful. For those with a sincere interest in the subject, here is an overview of BDSM and BDSM dating.

For those not familiar with what BDSM entails, it is a lifestyle based on domination and submission. One partner may be the dominant one, and the other may be the submissive one. In some relationships, it is not uncommon for the two to switch roles.

There is also a lot of kinky fetish play that is involved in BDSM relationships. Commonly, such fetish play will entail masochistic components. Such relationships are certainly not easy to pursue since not everyone finds BDSM to be appealing. However, for those that do, this can be considered a popular lifestyle choice.

woman in leather

There are options available to those that would wish to explore BDSM related lifestyles. One of the most common means would be to look through local BDSM based singles sites or publications for ‘munches.’ Munches are informal meetings where those with an interest in BDSM can have a luncheon and discuss their interests in a PG rated environment.

For many, this is a decent introduction because it does not have the adult oriented components that may make a newbie looking for BDSM information nervous. Adult oriented adventures can make a lot of people new to such lifestyles nervous. That is why it is best to take a slow approach to the process and engage in a learning stage before jumping into anything new.

Some may even look towards BDSM training and educational programs for their BDSM information. Yes, such events exist, and they are quite popular in the world of fetish lifestyles. While not dating events, these programs can prove helpful to those that wish to discover more about the lifestyle in a non-stressful manner.

But, what about those individuals that would love to meet someone for BDSM dating? One of the increasingly more popular ways to find someone new would be to look towards online dating sites that cater to BDSM tastes.

Such sites can prove to be the perfect venue for starting your journey because they provide a means in which you can take things slow. You can take your time to get a feel for the people involved in the lifestyle. Taking things slow might not always be possible when you are meeting people at a fetish club. This is why the online option should always remain a viable one. For many, the online dating process is perfect for BDSM information.

BDSM – A Short Guide

bdsm toys

In this article you will educate yourself about BDSM and in what way it can be used as stress relief for some.

Firstly, BDSM is short for for Bondage, Discipline and Sado Masochism. Additionally, it is short for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism.

BDSM involves two or more people in several roles. Often, one person plays the dominant role while the other plays a submissive role. The dominating person administers pain to the submissive person by means of “torture”, beatings, and whippings. Chiefly, the submissive person enjoys increasingly being in bondage, while the dominant person enjoys the experience of power. There is aconsensual arrangement between the parties, and thus even though it would appear that the submissive person is being forced to take the pain, both parties are experiencing pleasure. Therefore, it is easy to see how this technique can certainly help relieve stress. BDSM is often associated with scenes in sex magazines where it’s useful to create sexual tension.

woman in latex

You will find numerous types of BDSM, whereby the intensity of pain also may differ. In some kinds of BDSM, the activities involve mild pain or none at all, while others involve serious pain. In cases where the submissive person is experiencing intense pain, they are the ones which have some degree of control over the amount of pain he or she will take. It is not as if the person is being forced to take the pain.

While intense kinds of BDSM involve actual pain, less severe forms involve bondage, light caning, spanking, verbal abuse, or humiliation. Whatever forms of activities are involved in BDSM, the role-play has to be safe, consensual and controlled.

Many people do not understand the BDSM community. The SM part of the acronym BDSM (Sadism and Masochism) describes activities that are regarded as unpleasant by many people. Obviously, men and women who don’t grasp what BDSM means, can be quick to associate BDSM participants as freaks and perverts, since the activities and the names imply abuse and violence. In addition to the obvious Bondage and Discipline part of it, which we will come to later. Steps have been taken to give a more positive meaning to BDSM and this is how the acronym was arrived at.

You can test yourself what kind of BDSM you might: BDSM test.

BDSM lifestyle

bdsm lifestyle

There are many people who would like to see the BDSM alternative lifestyle accepted in society. But just like anything else that is different, this is something that a lot of people have a hard time grasping. When it comes down to it, there are many myths surrounding the BDSM alternative lifestyle that make people want to avoid it. But with that being said, when properly educated most people will agree that the BDSM alternative lifestyle is not that bad.

First and foremost, it is important to know that a BDSM alternative lifestyle is something that a person voluntarily takes on. If they are interested in living like this it should be up to them. If society could somehow see past the negative stereotypes that are associated with BDSM alternative lifestyle it would be much easier to achieve a higher level of acceptance.

While most people think that a BDSM alternative lifestyle is nothing more than physical abuse, nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is that abuse is not common with a BDSM alternative lifestyle. This is only the case in extraordinary situations. And remember, abuse is common in other lifestyles as well such as living in a bad marriage.

bondage

It is difficult to say if the BDSM alternative lifestyle will ever be accepted in society. Some people are fine with this as of now, but of course, there are many others who feel that it is not a good idea. The only way that society will ever become comfortable with the BDSM alternative lifestyle is if the myths are put to rest. Hopefully as more and more information is made available, society as a whole will begin to catch on.

There is no predefined set of activities that necessarily fall exclusively within the sphere of female dominance as with other BDSM orientations. Normally, the female dominant determines the activity within the context of a consensual encounter.

There are a few ways you can introduce femdom to your male partner, and the most common of them is simply talking about it. Perhaps over a nice candle-lit dinner. A romantic setting already puts forth the desire of more to come. When your partner comes home to find you have prepared a nice romantic evening, a conversation revolving around desires will already come into play.