BDSM Dynamics and Choices

two blonde beauties

We’ve all heard the old myths involved in BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sado masochism); individuals assuming mixing pleasure with pain means the person practising it has some deep rooted emotional problems. Sex is sex, no matter how we look at it. The funny thing is BDSM or Domination may have absolutely nothing to do with the act of sex. This is where many misconceptions come from in the ‘outside’ world. By that, we mean ‘outside’ the usual missionary style pleasurable experiences many have.

Bondage can be a lot of fun, very intense and an emotional experience for both involved. Experimenting is actually a part of growing. Married couples or anyone in a loving long relationship will find new and interesting ways to explore their sexuality. This is common, as most of you will agree. Bondage is classified in many circles as a fetish; but as most will conclude, this may be where the problems start to arise and stereotypes get attached.

There are several fetishes around, which admittedly are very odd or strange even border line disturbing. But, other fetishes have certainly hit mainstream. We may joke about it, but many become curious and want to take their first steps into a different realm of sexual pleasure. For example, in the company of a dominatrix many of us assume this is a taboo type pleasure only reserved for men. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Many women, as well as couples, find it exciting to be dominated by a mistress.

bdsm scene

The dynamics involved in bondage or S&M go deeper into emotions then many believe. Bondage is a form of trust; between couples, love, trust and devotion play a huge role when participating in bondage activities. Exploration is important; therefore a couple can grow while ‘trying out new things’. Submissives’, as they are called, do not ‘submit’ to a master simply because they lack esteem or have been abused in the past – this to, couldn’t be farther from the truth. They do so because in most cases, they are in total control of their daily lives outside the bedroom.

It is actually quite interesting when you dive into the psychology behind dominating, submitting and other forms of fetishes. Of course like mentioned in the beginning of this article, some fetishes are considered quite disturbing, and therefore is exactly the point of why Bondage should be completely separate from other forms of fetishes. Bondage has so many different dynamics involved, but most reflect personal decisions. Questions are asked: how far do I really want to take this? Can I honestly handle this form of sexual release? Is this what I really want?

Those are all normal questions one asks when they become curious about bondage or other forms of femdom. But, they are also questions that can be answered by doing simple research, talking to their partners or even searching out online others who are in the same position – simply curious.

Very often in our life we are forced to portray the roles society lies for us, but the BDSM lifestyle changes that and gives us a way to escape. For example men who are generally pressured to take charge, can give up control. Although this may be hard for them to do as a result of gender roles, the BDSM lifestyle encourages and and reward the behavior. The rewarding is also twofold for a Domme. The control elements at hand of the Domme may not be experienced outside of the BDSM setting. Also when the Sub has a breakthrough it is rewarding for the Domme, and satisfaction can be taken in knowing they were had a presence in the mental growth of another individual.

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